December 26, 2004

Barry Funny

Be sure to read Dave Barry's summary of the events of 2004, "a year that was lower than a snake". It's long, but worth it, and has so many good lines that it's not really fair to excerpt it...except for this one these two...

OCTOBER...the Boston Red Sox, ending an 86-year drought, defeat the St. Louis Cardinals to win the World Series, defying exit polls that had overwhelmingly picked the Green Bay Packers. The Red Sox get into the Series thanks to the fact that the New York Yankees -- who were leading the American League championships three games to none and have all-stars at every position, not to mention a payroll larger than the gross national product of Sweden -- choose that particular time to execute the most spectacular choke in all of sports history, an unbelievable Gag-o-Rama, a noxious nosedive, a pathetic gut-check failure of such epic dimensions that every thinking human outside of the New York metropolitan area experiences a near-orgasmic level of happiness. But there is no need to rub it in....

NOVEMBER...The post-election recriminations and name-calling continue for more than a week, until the public, realizing that there are still important issues that affect the entire nation, returns its attention to the Scott Peterson trial, which finally ends with the jury finding Peterson guilty of being just unbelievably irritating. The verdict means sudden unemployment for thousands of cable news legal analysts, who return to their caves to hang upside down by day and suck cows' blood by night until they are called for the next big TV trial.

Posted by dan at December 26, 2004 6:21 PM