December 15, 2003

Nice Beard

Larry Miller doesn't have a lot of hair, and so I guess he respects those who can grow it in volume. I usually like Miller's humor, and this column is no exception. Here's a taste:

Most important aspect of Hussein's capture: Could you grow a beard like that in seven months? I don't think I could. I mean, you've got to hand it to him: A full head of black hair, and he looks like Aristotle in a week. Don't get me wrong, the guy's up there (or down there) with the worst humans in history, and a few minutes after dying I think he's going to be having conversations like, "So you're saying the poker goes in another inch every year? Wow, and I thought the 'no virgins' thing was bad news." But he sure can grow some hair.

Then there are the problems that a captured Saddam poses for Howard Dean:

Now that we have the living version of that toppled statue, Mr. Dean (Why does everyone keep calling him "Doctor" even if he is one?) is going to sooner or later have to answer three questions.

One, since you were against the war from the start, is it better for Planet Earth that Hussein is out, and we have him? Two, if it is, how would you have accomplished that end if you were president? Wishing real hard? And three, do you buy all those shirts with the sleeves already rolled up, or do you have to do it yourself?

Posted by dan at December 15, 2003 8:19 PM