October 20, 2003

What If....?

Howard Kurtz looks at the phenomenon of "Bush hatred", with lots of quotes from both sides of the political divide. The article centers largely on Jonathan Chait's recent piece, "Why I Hate George Bush". I'm inclined to agree with those who see the spitting fury of the left as born of frustration that they, the wise and enlightened, are not currently in charge of the Congress, the White House, the Supreme Court, or the majority of the Governorships in this country. As to Bush's critics such as Chait, I'd agree with the New York Times' David Brooks, that...

"After you say you hate the way Bush walks and talks, you can never again ask readers to trust your judgment on anything involving Bush."

Notice there are rarely any specifics examples cited by the Bush-Haters when they talk about his "extreme right wing policies", his supposed environmental degradations, and his favors to "corporate cronies". I often wonder how bad it would be if there were some actual meaty scandals.

Because the comparison to the infamous "Clinton-haters" of a decade ago is invoked by those who today show contempt for Bush, I sometimes imagine how some "Clintonesque" scenarios might be treated by the media and the political left, were they to occur today in a Bush administration. For example...

*** A Bush campaign volunteer today claimed she was the subject of unwanted sexual advances by President Bush when she met with the him to ask for his help in obtaining employment, in a small room adjoining the Oval Office. The woman, whose husband had been killed only days earlier, says Bush grabbed her breast, saying he had always wanted to have sex with her. She tearfully expressed the shame and outrage she felt when the President, a man she knew casually and claims to have liked and trusted, assaulted her in this manner.

*** Bernard Schwartz, CEO of large defense contractor, Loral Corporation, and the single largest individual campaign donor to the Bush 2004 re-election fund, has been accused of illegally transferring secret missile technologies to the government of the Peoples Republic of China, in apparent payback for the millions of dollars of illegal campaign contributions originating in communist China that have been funneled to the Bush re-election fund through a network of Asian-Americans and Republican Party operatives.

*** Laura Bush has been placed in charge of the formulation of all major domestic policy legislation and decisions in the Bush White House, it was learned today. Dismissing critics' concerns that she is neither elected nor officially "appointed", and is therefore unaccountable, the Bush team emphasized the fact that Mrs. Bush is highly intelligent and capable, and that George and Laura are really now co-Presidents, working as a policy-making "team". They express surprise that anyone could be critical of granting an important policy-making role to a First Lady, especially one with such manifest intellectual gifts.

*** Attorney General John Ashcroft today ordered that a compound housing more than 80 American citizens, including many women and children, all belonging to a rare religious sect, be stormed by agents of the FBI and the ATF. The resulting fire incinerated the compound, killing all those inside. The Justice Department claims of possible child abuse and weapons law violations occurring inside the compound were as yet unsubstantiated.

Imagine.

Posted by dan at October 20, 2003 11:04 AM